Jews Receiving Non-Religious "Seasonal" Party Favors

[Avi Jacobson]

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I have been participating in a discussion of this subject on another
(parenting-related) board and am interested in hearing other people's
opinions.

Specifically, a poster (presumably Christian) will be holding a baby
shower around Christmas time, and was considering giving away "Seasonal"
(but non-religious) party favors such as tree decoration balls. She
wondered whether Jewish guests at her party would be offended by this.

I expressed doubt that anyone but the most observant Orthodox Jews would
take offense at a candy cane, snowman or tree decoration ball, but that
overtly religious symbols (e.g. manger scenes, crosses) would be
inappropriate. Another poster responded that the only Jews who shared my
view were "anti-Israel, anti-religion, anti-observant" Jews (which she
apparently presumes me to be, though I am none of these). She suggested
I post the question on a Jewish list to see what reactions I get.

So here I am. How would you feel if you were invited to a baby shower by
a Christian friend toward the end of December, and were given a tree
ball as a party favor? Would you be highly offended?



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[Kevin Karplus]

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Post by Avi Jacobson
Specifically, a poster (presumably Christian) will be holding a baby
shower around Christmas time, and was considering giving away
"Seasonal" (but non-religious) party favors such as tree decoration
balls. She wondered whether Jewish guests at her party would be
offended by this. .... So here I am. How would you feel if you were
invited to a baby shower by a Christian friend toward the end of
December, and were given a tree ball as a party favor? Would you be
highly offended?

Disclaimer: I am not Jewish, and my household celebrates both Christmas
and Channukah, so my opinion may not be relevant.

I would find giving tree ornament balls as party favors at a baby shower
inappropriate at any season, but not offensive. (Glass baubles are not
appropriate celebrations of impending child birth---the family with the
baby would not want it playing with hollow glass spheres, so why would
they inflect them on their friends?)

On the other hand, winter-themed gifts that were not so strongly tied to
a particular holiday would make better party favors, as the party is not
a holiday party.

For example, candles, which could be seen as seasonal party favors, are
both ornamental and useful, regardless of one's religious affiliation.
One can even come up with ways to make them symbolically appropriate for
an impending birth.



------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Karplus ***@soe.ucsc.edu http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus


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[fred]

Post by Avi Jacobson
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version=3D2.63
I have been participating in a discussion of this subject on another
(parenting-related) board and am interested in hearing other people's
opinions.
Specifically, a poster (presumably Christian) will be holding a baby
shower around Christmas time, and was considering giving away "Seasonal"
(but non-religious) party favors such as tree decoration balls. She
wondered whether Jewish guests at her party would be offended by this.
I expressed doubt that anyone but the most observant Orthodox Jews would
take offense at a candy cane, snowman or tree decoration ball, but that
overtly religious symbols (e.g. manger scenes, crosses) would be
inappropriate.

I guess I would be classified as an "observant Orthodox Jew", and I
can't see anything to be offended by. These people aren't Jews, and
don't know anything about Jews. I obviously wouldn't bother to take
one of the favors, but then I wouldn't eat any of the food, either.
When you accept an invitation under such circumstances, you should know
what to expect.

Post by Avi Jacobson
Another poster responded that the only Jews who shared my
view were "anti-Israel, anti-religion, anti-observant" Jews (which she
apparently presumes me to be, though I am none of these). She suggested
I post the question on a Jewish list to see what reactions I get.

Does that mean that only "anti-Israel, anti-religion, anti-observant"
Jews would accept candy canes, etc? It seems to me that it is the
least religious Jews who are most bothered by what is known every year
on scjp as the "December Dilemma", of which this thread is merely
another facet. When you expect society at large to set your boundaries
for you, it isn't all that rare that you will find that it doesn't do
so to your satisfaction. Orthodox Jews set their own boundaries, and
thus are very clear and comfortable with themselves even when society
moves in a different direction. Of course the "downside" to that, if
you think of it as such, is that we also live with those boundaries the
other eleven months of the year.



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