Bar Mitzvah religious issues and big party

[Howian]

I am planning my son's Bar Mitzvah. My parents particularly my mother wants a
big party, though my wife and son do not care. Sometimes the party seems to be
getting crazy as I spend hours dealing with calligraphers and other issues.
Any suggestions.

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[chiam margalit]

Post by Howian
I am planning my son's Bar Mitzvah. My parents particularly my mother wants a
big party, though my wife and son do not care. Sometimes the party seems to be
getting crazy as I spend hours dealing with calligraphers and other issues.
Any suggestions.

Get your parents a copy of "Putting God on the Guestlist" by Rabbi
Jeff Salkin and make sure they read it. They'll get the hint that the
party isn't the important part of the simcha.

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[Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.]

Don't do the party for your parents. Do it the way you, your wife, and your
son want it. What are your values and desires? Scale back; Do the
invitations yourself; Use a calligraphy program on the computer.

Or, if you have already made the decision to go the big party route (as your
mentioning of calligraphers suggests), then try to minimize the crazy stuff
and revel in the joy of the simcha. It is a happy occasion, and there is
nothing wrong with celebrating it in whatever style suits your family.

There was a Bar mitzvah at our shul today. The centerpieces for the Kiddush
and bimah were baskets of animal supplies which will be given to the local
animal shelter. It was the boy's tzedakah project; required during the b'nai
mitzvah year at our shul. Much more meaningful than flowers which will get
thrown out.

What suits your family?
--
Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.
Remove the c in my name for me to see your reply

Post by Howian
I am planning my son's Bar Mitzvah. My parents particularly my mother wants a
big party, though my wife and son do not care. Sometimes the party seems to be
getting crazy as I spend hours dealing with calligraphers and other issues.
Any suggestions.

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This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ.
Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent
authorities in those fields.

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[Splanche]

Post by Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.
There was a Bar mitzvah at our shul today. The centerpieces for the Kiddush
and bimah were baskets of animal supplies which will be given to the local
animal shelter. It was the boy's tzedakah project; required during the b'nai
mitzvah year at our shul. Much more meaningful than flowers which will get
thrown out.

I still remember that for my Bat Mitzvah, my mother used cakes as centerpieces
instead of flowers....They became the dessert.
- Blanche

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[J. Goldman]

In our book, Bar and Bat Mitzvah in Israel: The Ultimate Family
Sourcebook,
we discuss mitzvot that make the event more meaningful and allow the
child to give to the community. One example is a beach clean-up (in
Eilat) that the bat mitzvah girl (on a visit to Israel) organized for
her and her family. Another was the collection of art supplies from
family friends that the child then brought to a center for Ethiopian
children (in Kiryat Gat) and distributed on her visit to Israel. An
example of a long distance mitzvah - nicknamed the Sweetest Mitzvah --
is the donation of chocolate to soldiers and/or hospitalized children
in Israel. Another family had a special challa cover embroidered by
Ethiopian women for the bat mitzvah girl and gave the guests similar
items. These orders keep the women employed. The addition of mitzva to
the celebration adds an important dimension.

Judith Isaacson
Publisher
@The Source Israel
http://www.thesourceisrael.com

Post by Splanche

Post by Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.
There was a Bar mitzvah at our shul today. The centerpieces for the Kiddush
and bimah were baskets of animal supplies which will be given to the local
animal shelter. It was the boy's tzedakah project; required during the b'nai
mitzvah year at our shul. Much more meaningful than flowers which will get
thrown out.

I still remember that for my Bat Mitzvah, my mother used cakes as centerpieces
instead of flowers....They became the dessert.
- Blanche

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