Religious School guidelines

[Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.]

Hi!

I'm VP of Family Education of a synagogue with a small synagogue based
(afterschool/weekend). We only have about 35 students but we will receive a
Schechter Gold Award for excellence in Elementary Education from the USCJ
(governing organization for Conservative Judaism).

Other responses interspersed -

Hi,
I just noticed this newsgroup and wonder if you can help me with a
question I have about running and afternoon/weekend religious school.
Our congregation is working on solidfying our relgious school's rules
and guidelines. By way of background, we have about 50 students
pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah (plus separate programs for older youth) and are a
liberal congregation. We offer religious education on Sundays for K-6
and Hebrew school on Wednesdays for grades 3-6. For grades 3-6,
children are expected to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays.
We have some problems in the following areas, and are wondering what,
if anything, other congregations do about these issues, especially if
1. Some families wish to send their children, particularly 3rd and
4th graders, for only one day (usually Sunday).

As you said in the end of your post - they must attend or make other
arrangements, namely tutoring. We also insist on Summer makeup work if
someone is falling behind. If they cannot keep up with the rest of the
class, they have to get a tutor or repeat the grade. The last family faced
with that option pulled the kid from the class. We were only marginally
upset to see the child and family go, because they were not supporting the
kid's educational needs. Neither were the parents committed to their child
actually learning something. They just wanted him to be around other Jews.
Our response was, that is what youth groups like USY and BBYO are for.
Schools are for learning.

2. Some families don't take attendance seriously, and their kids only
show up if they don't get any better offers; some schedule other
activities to overlap with religious school and only send their kids
when those activities are not in session.

Do you charge tuition? - people value what they pay for and hate wasting
money. Do you hold a parent conference on the first day of school explaining
the need for a child to get regular reinforcement of Hebrew in order to
acquire the language?

We also explain how absences affect classroom dynamics and peer
relationships. Lastly, we tell the parents we have a fairly dense
curriculum, and if your kid misses a day, they miss some foundation work. A
day here or there can be made up with little effort. But if they begin
missing frequently, their kids will be missing chunks of the curriculum and
will fall behind their peers.

Actually, we are pretty self selected. The parents who bring their kids want
a strong Conservative education. We have a couple of families where the kids
leave early for dance class of sports, but the kids seem to be handling the
work even with leaving early.

3. behavior issues in the classroom

We have a behavior policy that begins with each teacher creating a classroom
'brit' (contract) with the students about what is acceptable and responsible
behavior. Then we kind of adapted a secular school's discipline code about
what happens when behavior is so disruptive it affects the whole
classroom -Depending on severity and frequency of problems, things can
progress from removal from class, to being sent home for the day, to
suspensions until there is a parent meeting, to expulsion. We have never
expelled a child. But we were very happy when a couple of kids finished 7th
grade and elected not to go on to our Midrasha (Hebrew High School) program.

If you have policies to address any of these issues, we would be
interested in learning what they are, how they are enforced, and how
they work for you.
We have a policy that 3rd through 6th graders must enroll for both
days (or make suitable alternate arrangements), but if a child just
doesn't show up for one of the days, what do you do?

We have carrots more than sticks. First of all, we are working towards
eliminating 'frontal' teaching - kids sitting in desks, teacher at the
board. We are trying to move toward discussions, projects, skits, games,
etc. So the kids think it's fun. We also allow teachers to use immediate
rewards like points earned for future prizes or activities or even candy. We
also have a 'deferred' award called a nachus post card. The teachers are
instructed to try and send at least one to each family about each child. It
is a postcard that details something positive the student has done, even if
it is non-academic, like displaying compassion (because ultimately,
compassion is a Jewish value).

We have a 5X5 reading program where kids read Hebrew for five minutes five
times a week. There are prizes for completing each month, and for
accumulating many months. We have a "sefer-a-thon." Students must read and
submit a book report on at least one jewish book. Those who submit three or
more get raffle tickets for prizes we accumulate through freebie offers from
the office supply place (place an order $200 or greater and get a free
portable radio) and from places like Oriental Trading Post.

We have required youth services. There is a reward activity at the end of
the year for kids who attend them all. Last year it was a party at a movie
theatre that also serves food. The kids could get dairy there (being a
Conservative congregation, we adhere to USY rules for trips). This year
there will be a bonus prize to kids who attend more than the minimum
required services.

Lastly, we have several activities (two per month) which are family
education activities. The parents are required to attend. That way, we are
educating the parents as well as the kids, and the parents get to be
surprised by how much their kid knows or can do. That spirals into greater
parental interest.

Also, parents are required to serve Sunday snack at least once a year
(bagels and juice because our Sundays are 3 hours long), and help out in the
office. It makes those with an inclination to be invested, be more invested.

Hope this has helped some.

Adelle Stavis



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[chiam margalit]

Hi,
I just noticed this newsgroup and wonder if you can help me with a
question I have about running and afternoon/weekend religious school.
Our congregation is working on solidfying our relgious school's rules
and guidelines. By way of background, we have about 50 students
pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah (plus separate programs for older youth) and are a
liberal congregation. We offer religious education on Sundays for K-6
and Hebrew school on Wednesdays for grades 3-6. For grades 3-6,
children are expected to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays.
We have some problems in the following areas, and are wondering what,
if anything, other congregations do about these issues, especially if
1. Some families wish to send their children, particularly 3rd and
4th graders, for only one day (usually Sunday).
2. Some families don't take attendance seriously, and their kids only
show up if they don't get any better offers; some schedule other
activities to overlap with religious school and only send their kids
when those activities are not in session.
3. behavior issues in the classroom

I think you're making some strong assumptions. First, I have two
children, both pre-bnai mitzvah, and neither attends a formal
religious school. There are a number of reasons they do not. The top
reason is that the curricula is terrible, not suited for children to
embrace, and taught haphazardly by pseudo educators. So you can see my
attitude towards these 'schools'.

Another reason that my children do not attend is that the time is
extremely inconvenient for our family. With no transporation to or
from Hebrew school, it is up to the parent to get them there. I work,
I am not available to transport my kids in the middle of the day.
Which leaves Sunday. Sunday, the ONLY day of the entire week where our
family can sleep in. Are we willing to get up and go to a lousy class
in shul when we could have family time and enjoy our day. Not much of
a question in our minds.

Another reason the time is so bad is that Hebrew school begins at 4
pm. My children are both ADHD, and guess what time their medication
wears off. Oh, right after school, and definately by 4 pm. Their
behaviour is at it's very very worst during the time of Hebrew school.
NOBODY has ever addressed this issue. Last year, when we did try a
brief stint at our shul's hebrew school, of the 8 kids in my son's
class, ALL were on ADHD medications. By week three there were two very
ugly fistfights, and we withdrew. Who needs that mischigas, especially
since the 'teacher' wasn't even in the room when it happened?

Lastly, what I want my children to learn, and what they are taught in
these Religious school classes are very divergent. I want my children
to know siddur Hebrew, to be able to daven comfortably with an
Orthodox siddur, and to know about the Tanach. I do not want them
learning the history of the Israeli conflict, or about the holocaust.
That's MY business to teach them.

I don't know if this answers your questions, but don't assume that all
parents buy into the religious school tractates. I know plenty who do
not.

Marjorie

If you have policies to address any of these issues, we would be
interested in learning what they are, how they are enforced, and how
they work for you.
We have a policy that 3rd through 6th graders must enroll for both
days (or make suitable alternate arrangements), but if a child just
doesn't show up for one of the days, what do you do?
Thanks,
Jewish Mom and Education Committee member

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[Adelle D. Stavis, Esq.]

Post by chiam margalit
I think you're making some strong assumptions. First, I have two
children, both pre-bnai mitzvah, and neither attends a formal
religious school. There are a number of reasons they do not. The top
reason is that the curricula is terrible, not suited for children to
embrace, and taught haphazardly by pseudo educators. So you can see my
attitude towards these 'schools'.
Another reason that my children do not attend is that the time is
extremely inconvenient for our family. With no transporation to or
from Hebrew school, it is up to the parent to get them there. I work,
I am not available to transport my kids in the middle of the day.
Which leaves Sunday. Sunday, the ONLY day of the entire week where our
family can sleep in. Are we willing to get up and go to a lousy class
in shul when we could have family time and enjoy our day. Not much of
a question in our minds.
Another reason the time is so bad is that Hebrew school begins at 4
pm. My children are both ADHD, and guess what time their medication
wears off. Oh, right after school, and definately by 4 pm. Their
behaviour is at it's very very worst during the time of Hebrew school.
NOBODY has ever addressed this issue. Last year, when we did try a
brief stint at our shul's hebrew school, of the 8 kids in my son's
class, ALL were on ADHD medications. By week three there were two very
ugly fistfights, and we withdrew. Who needs that mischigas, especially
since the 'teacher' wasn't even in the room when it happened?
Lastly, what I want my children to learn, and what they are taught in
these Religious school classes are very divergent. I want my children
to know siddur Hebrew, to be able to daven comfortably with an
Orthodox siddur, and to know about the Tanach. I do not want them
learning the history of the Israeli conflict, or about the holocaust.
That's MY business to teach them.
I don't know if this answers your questions, but don't assume that all
parents buy into the religious school tractates. I know plenty who do
not.
Marjorie

Hi, Marjorie;

Our synagogue does siddur Hebrew, and the other things you talk about. But
we need at least six hours a week to get even close to doing right by the
kids. The Hebrew School needs to allow for travel time from secular school
to the shul. But classes can't end too late because the kids still need to
eat dinner and finish their secular homework. We could make school a daily
one hour thing, like when my Dad went to Cheder, but then there wouldn't be
time for the other activities which round out a kid - organized sports,
dance, music, art, scouting, etc. These activities also feed their souls.

The local Reform congregation has a policy with kids who aren't succeeding
in the classroom (for whatever the reason but some ADD - with or without
hyperactivity), to provide a list of tutors and to provide the tutor with
all the materials for whichever grade is appropriate. It's an interesting
idea. My daughter's best friend really blossomed in that environment. And we
have arranged for one family to 'homeschool' the weekday class because their
daughter was accepted into a youth symphony (very prestigious) and because
the parents are more than competent to teach their very sweet and studious
kid. Their daughter still attends on Sunday.

Would you consider a synagogue based program that is not Orthodox (like a
Conservative with an egalitarian minyan?) Maybe there are some alternatives.

My daughter's friend is now on a different medication. Can't remember when
it wears off, but she is sleeping and eating better than she ever has. She
is 12 and now studying for her Bat Mitzvah.

Adelle



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[Hillary Israeli]

In <***@posting.google.com>,
chiam margalit <***@yahoo.com> wrote:

****@yahoo.com (JewishMom) wrote in message news:<***@posting.google.com>...

*> liberal congregation. We offer religious education on Sundays for K-6
*> and Hebrew school on Wednesdays for grades 3-6. For grades 3-6,
*> children are expected to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays.
*>
*> We have some problems in the following areas, and are wondering what,
*> if anything, other congregations do about these issues, especially if
*> you have some creative solutions:
*>
*> 1. Some families wish to send their children, particularly 3rd and
*> 4th graders, for only one day (usually Sunday).
*>
*> 2. Some families don't take attendance seriously, and their kids only
*> show up if they don't get any better offers; some schedule other
*> activities to overlap with religious school and only send their kids
*> when those activities are not in session.
*>
*> 3. behavior issues in the classroom
*
*I think you're making some strong assumptions. First, I have two
*children, both pre-bnai mitzvah, and neither attends a formal
*religious school. There are a number of reasons they do not. The top

[snip list of reasons]

I don't see how the list of reasons Marjorie provided has anything to do
with the original post, actually. Marjorie, it's not like you signed your
kid up, and then didn't make them go because they had other activities to
do. Perhaps the OP can clarify - is the problem that you can't get parents
to sign their kids up for the program, or that they do sign up but then
don't take the committment seriously?? If the former, perhaps a survey of
congregants to see what they want in religious school is in order. If the
latter -- IQ Fairy Dust was recently suggested in another forum to treat
people with similar problems...

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net ***@hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

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[Fred Rosenblatt]

For schools that do pass/fail students, must kids begin in
Kindergarten? If a kid came in in 2nd grade with no formal Jewish
education, or equivalent, could they start in the 2nd grade class, or
would they have to start from the beginning with much younger kids?
What about a 4th grader?

Our day school has a teacher dedicated to remedial education for
children who start the school with less background. I would assume
that it is age appropriate, geared to the student's abilities as
well as the level expected for that age. I don't know the details,
but I don't see any value in failing a child in that situation.

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[Robyn Kozierok]

For schools that do pass/fail students, must kids begin in
Kindergarten? If a kid came in in 2nd grade with no formal Jewish
education, or equivalent, could they start in the 2nd grade class, or
would they have to start from the beginning with much younger kids?
What about a 4th grader?

Our children start in "first grade" no matter how old they are. How
could it be otherwise? If an 11 year old child doesn't know
aleph-bet, how could they go directly to an advanced class?

Our kids start Hebrew in "kitah alpeh" whenever they start (usually 3rd
grade, but sometimes 4th) but attend religion classes with agemates
even if they've missed prior grades. They will have holes in their
education, but the classes are not particularly cumulative. I think if
a child started Hebrew beyond 4th grade, we'd probably suggest tutoring
as opposed to starting with "kitah aleph" at that point, especially if
they were planning on having a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

--Robyn

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[Aimee Yermish]

Our congregation is working on solidfying our relgious school's
rules and guidelines. By way of background, we have about 50
students pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah (plus separate programs for older
youth) and are a liberal congregation. We offer religious
education on Sundays for K-6 and Hebrew school on Wednesdays
for grades 3-6. For grades 3-6, children are expected to
attend both Sundays and Wednesdays.
We have some problems in the following areas...
1. Some families wish to send their children... for only one
day (usually Sunday).
2. Some families don't take attendance seriously...
3. behavior issues in the classroom

Well, I hate to say it, but it comes down to how mean your congregation
is willing to be. In many secular schools, if you miss more than a
certain number of days, you are not promoted to the next grade. In many
congregations, if the children do not attend religious school (and that
means actually show up for the full sessions of a certain number of the
required days for a certain number of *years* prior to 7th grade), then
the child may not have his/her bar/bat mitzvah at the shul. Some shuls
actually require that *all* children in the family be enrolled for the
requisite number of years (That is, if Danny, who is in 5th grade, wants
to have his bar mitzvah when he's in 7th grade, both he *and* his little
sister Rachel, who is in 2nd grade, must attend the religious school for
the three years before Danny's bar mitzvah). Obviously, there are
sometimes extenuating circumstances that require exceptions to those
rules, but "my kid wants to go to Little League instead of Hebrew
School" isn't an extenuating circumstance, even for a family that makes
big donations. The bar/bat mitzvah is important enough to most people
to provide a sufficient incentive to not let their kids miss too much
school. To implement that, though, you've got to have *everyone* in the
shul administration firmly on board. You've *got* to be willing to
enforce it, even on the big donors, and you've got to be willing to in
fact "hold a kid back" (or send required "summer school" work that the
child must complete before being allowed into the next grade), and
you've got to be willing to in fact refuse to allow a young man or woman
to be called to the Torah or in any other way celebrate his/her bar/bat
mitzvah, and you've got to be willing to lose some congregants over the
issue, because you will.

And to make that work, the curriculum must be challenging and
meaningful. Face it, if the curriculum is so easy and repetitious that
a kid really *can* miss that many sessions and still master it at the
required level, then it's too easy. So, believe it or not, I think it
would really help to *raise* the level of the academic expectations of
the curriculum. Part of the reason people think it's okay to punt
Hebrew School whenever they get a better offer is that most Hebrew
school is eminently puntable. I went three days a week from age 7 until
I graduated from high school, and almost all of it was a complete and
utter waste of time. Despite doing every assignment and activity to the
best of my ability and taking the most advanced classes available,
despite getting As, at the end of those many years, almost all of my
ritual skills had come from my father and from two summers at Camp
Ramah, my ability to speak Hebrew was limited to canned "hello, how are
you" conversations plus the vocabulary I'd learned at Ramah (for
comparison, after less than three years of high school French, I could
read a novel, write a literary-criticism essay, and have a heated
argument about politics without stuttering), I knew only the basics of
holiday observances, and my experience with the Oral Law was *very*
limited. Everyone I know who went to Hebrew school hated it, and almost
all of us hated it because it was *boring.* When the curriculum is
dumbed down in an effort to be fun and appealing, what ends up happening
is that the kids who are most dedicated to learning find ways to get out
of it so that they can be involved in extracurricular activities that
*are* meaningful, and the kids who mostly just want to hang out and
socialize cause behavior problems in the classroom. I was a secular
classroom teacher for many years, and part of my "philosophy of
discipline" was that kids who are participating in activities that are
inherently interesting and challenging don't act out anywhere near as
much as kids who are bored.

And of course, just like you have to be mean about attendance, you have
to be mean about discipline. I've seen it happen in both secular and
religious schools. If you are wussy about enforcing behavioral
expectations, kids learn that they don't actually have to behave. In
fact, they get rewarded for not behaving, when a teacher tries to
enforce a rule and gets undermined by the parents and administrators,
and the kid gets to feel like he's gotten the teacher in trouble.
Again, the folks who *do* care about a quality education tend to go
elsewhere, while the folks who don't are the ones who stick around, so
you have a downward spiral.

All this depends absolutely upon having everyone involved be committed
to making it happen, and being willing to suggest to the parents who are
*not* committed to it that they seek out a different shul, even if
they're rich.

Since you have very few kids, you might consider a different model,
which, while I have not seen it in action, sounds promising. Instead of
having formal Hebrew school where parents drop kids off at classrooms in
the shul two days a week, organize the kids into chavurah-sized groups
which meet on a rotating basis at parents' houses for half a day on
Sundays (giving you the same number of hours, but not requiring the kids
to miss quite so many afterschool activities). Parents are
cooperatively involved in the *teaching* of these classes, along with
the professional educators (although, depending upon the knowledge level
of your parents, it may be possible to dispense with the professional
educators completely (no offense, but, speaking as a professional
educator, I have to say that while some of the Hebrew school teachers of
my acquaintance have been excellent and worthy of being considered
professionals, most of them were not truly professional educators, and
that was part of the problem with why the classes were so dull and
easy), or engage them in the process of development of curriculum while
not requiring that they be present for all of the delivery. Making it
one longish day instead of two short ones halves the number of drives
needed and increases the sense that "this is what we do on Sundays."
Having the classes be small by design and at someone's house increases
the sense that one would be not only lame, but also *rude* by not
showing up or by leaving early, and having the parents involved in the
delivery of the curriculum increases the parents' knowledge and their
commitment to making sure everyone in the class learns. Works better
when you have a critical mass of non-lame parents to begin with, of
course, but essentially what you're doing is putting peer pressure to
work among the parents.

Another pre bar/bat mitzvah idea is to have some of the required Hebrew
school on Shabbat morning, during services, with the explicit
expectation that parents should attend services while their kids study
and do an abbreviated service. The curriculum on the Shabbat sessions
would have to be things that wouldn't require writing (even if your shul
doesn't care about those things, middle schoolers *love* to catch
grownups in hypocrisy, and they would be all over you when they learned
that they were being forced to write on Shabbat), but there's still
plenty to do (in-depth text study, ritual skills, conversational Hebrew,
etc).

I think that essentially, your difficulty is to get the parents on board
with taking religious education seriously, and not merely as an annoying
requirement for that all-important bar/bat mitzvah. It's sort of not
"cool" among many parents to take Judaism too seriously -- you have to
find ways to get them invested in the quality of the education their
kids are going to receive.

For post bar/bat mitzvah kids, what I've seen implemented in a number of
places to excellent effect is a one-evening-a-week session where dinner
is served (at say, 6-7pm), and then the kids study until 10pm, with the
kids being given choices of high-level, high-interest classes taught by
rabbis and Jewish studies professionals. Here, what is happening is
that the shul is acknowledging that no one *has* to show up at all, but
is providing an activity that is of high enough interest that kids and
parents will consider it worthwhile, and low enough time commitment that
they can make it a priority.

Good luck...

--Aimee
***@alum.mit.edu

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[Hillary Israeli]

In <1063204949scjp-***@shamash.org>,
Aimee Yermish <***@alum.mit.edu> wrote:

*the child may not have his/her bar/bat mitzvah at the shul. Some shuls
*actually require that *all* children in the family be enrolled for the
*requisite number of years (That is, if Danny, who is in 5th grade, wants
*to have his bar mitzvah when he's in 7th grade, both he *and* his little
*sister Rachel, who is in 2nd grade, must attend the religious school for
*the three years before Danny's bar mitzvah). Obviously, there are

Really? How does that actually work? Are these O congregations, or liberal
congregations? I suppose I can't figure out how it would work. I would
imagine that in an Orthodox congregation, pretty much everyone would be
sending their kids anyway so it wouldn't really be an issue, but if for
some reason it were, I have a hard time imagining the rabbis taking it out
on the kid who wants to participate in becoming bar mitzvah just because
his parents are not with the program as far as the siblings go! And then
with a more liberal congregation, well - in some families, each child in
the family is a different religion (I can think of at least two families
of my acquaintance in which this is the case!), so it wouldn't make any
sense to have that requirement. Can you elaborate? I'm curious.

h.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net ***@hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

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[chiam margalit]

Post by Hillary Israeli
*the child may not have his/her bar/bat mitzvah at the shul. Some shuls
*actually require that *all* children in the family be enrolled for the
*requisite number of years (That is, if Danny, who is in 5th grade, wants
*to have his bar mitzvah when he's in 7th grade, both he *and* his little
*sister Rachel, who is in 2nd grade, must attend the religious school for
*the three years before Danny's bar mitzvah). Obviously, there are
Really? How does that actually work? Are these O congregations, or liberal
congregations? I suppose I can't figure out how it would work. I would
imagine that in an Orthodox congregation, pretty much everyone would be
sending their kids anyway so it wouldn't really be an issue, but if for
some reason it were, I have a hard time imagining the rabbis taking it out
on the kid who wants to participate in becoming bar mitzvah just because
his parents are not with the program as far as the siblings go! And then
with a more liberal congregation, well - in some families, each child in
the family is a different religion (I can think of at least two families
of my acquaintance in which this is the case!), so it wouldn't make any
sense to have that requirement. Can you elaborate? I'm curious.

I was on the bnai mitzvah committee for my shul, and I've read about
200 bnai mitzvah policy statements from Conservative shuls around the
country. Many many of them require attendance at religious school and
will not consent to a bnai mitzvah for a child UNLESS they are day
school students or have completed 3 years of after school programs.
Many also require regular attendance at shabbat services, and
attendance IS taken.

This is a real issue for me, because religious school is very
expensive for many families, and again, a real issue is transportation
for working families. It is unfair to require parents who are living
paycheck to paycheck to pay for private transportation to Hebrew
school. It is unfair to require parents of kids with LDs to attend
religious school for 3 years when they don't learn anything. It is
unfair to require children to attend religous school when their
learning differences, especially for the gifted, are not only ignored
but often ridiculed by bad teachers.

You can request the bnai mitzvah policies from shuls in your area to
compare and contrast. Most will give them out freely, but for some you
might need to know a member.

Marjorie

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[Robyn Kozierok]

Post by chiam margalit
I was on the bnai mitzvah committee for my shul, and I've read about
200 bnai mitzvah policy statements from Conservative shuls around the
country. Many many of them require attendance at religious school and
will not consent to a bnai mitzvah for a child UNLESS they are day
school students or have completed 3 years of after school programs.
Many also require regular attendance at shabbat services, and
attendance IS taken.
This is a real issue for me, because religious school is very
expensive for many families, and again, a real issue is

transportation

Post by chiam margalit
for working families. It is unfair to require parents who are living
paycheck to paycheck to pay for private transportation to Hebrew
school. It is unfair to require parents of kids with LDs to attend
religious school for 3 years when they don't learn anything. It is
unfair to require children to attend religous school when their
learning differences, especially for the gifted, are not only ignored
but often ridiculed by bad teachers.

Most religious schools I know of will reduce or waive fees for
religious school if needed.

The transportation issue is a big one everywhere, I think,
with so many working parents out there. In some cases
carpools can work, especially if the working parents are done
work in time to do pickup. Our congregation is actually
experimenting with providing transportation from local
schools to Hebrew school on Monday afternoons. (Does anyone
know of congregations that do this? Do parents pay for the
service?)

For kids with LD's, again, the congregations I know of will
make special adjustments to their B'nai Mitzvah rules for
kids with special needs.

I've never heard a case of a kid whose family was truly committed to
him/her having a Jewish education having trouble getting their
congregation to allow him/her to celebrate his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah
there. (Of course, having posted this, I'm sure to draw out all the
ugly stories...) I think that most congregations just recognize that
B'nai Mitzvah is the big carrot they can use to get kids into their
education programs (whether traditional Sunday/Wednesday type programs
or more innovative ones such as those you've described in
this thread).

Interesting thread.

--Robyn

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[chiam margalit]

Post by chiam margalit

Post by chiam margalit
I was on the bnai mitzvah committee for my shul, and I've read about
200 bnai mitzvah policy statements from Conservative shuls around the
country. Many many of them require attendance at religious school and
will not consent to a bnai mitzvah for a child UNLESS they are day
school students or have completed 3 years of after school programs.
Many also require regular attendance at shabbat services, and
attendance IS taken.
This is a real issue for me, because religious school is very
expensive for many families, and again, a real issue is

transportation

Post by chiam margalit
for working families. It is unfair to require parents who are living
paycheck to paycheck to pay for private transportation to Hebrew
school. It is unfair to require parents of kids with LDs to attend
religious school for 3 years when they don't learn anything. It is
unfair to require children to attend religous school when their
learning differences, especially for the gifted, are not only ignored
but often ridiculed by bad teachers.

Most religious schools I know of will reduce or waive fees for
religious school if needed.
The transportation issue is a big one everywhere, I think, with so
many working parents out there. In some cases carpools can work,
especially if the working parents are done work in time to do pickup.
Our congregation is actually experimenting with providing
transportation from local schools to Hebrew school on Monday
afternoons. (Does anyone know of congregations that do this? Do
parents pay for the
service?)

In LA there is what is known as the "Hebrew Bus", a bus that picks up
kids at various schools and shuttles them to various synagogues. I rode
it as a kid, and I know kids that ride it to this day. I believe
Baltimore also has a Hebrew bus, or did when I was a much younger woman.
In Boston, Local Motion used to have Hebrew School vans, but I think
they went into regular bussing and stopped the van service. I'm not
sure.

I do know that my parents did pay for the hebrew bus, but I believe it
was a nominal fee because so many kids used it. When I was little, it
was 3 to a seat, but that's illegal these days! :-)

Post by chiam margalit
For kids with LD's, again, the congregations I know of will make
special adjustments to their B'nai Mitzvah rules for kids with special
needs.

Yes, the bend the rules for the b'nai mitzvah, but they don't provide
training for kids with LDs. They don't make ANY special adjustments
whatsoever. In fact, just today I was discussing this topic with our
Rabbi and he was clear in this thoughts: "Judaism does not tolerate kids
with differences on either end of the spectrum. Not in day school, not
in after school programs, not in camps. They want middle of the road
kids only." Debra Nussbaum Cohen was going to write on this topic. I
don't know if she ever did, but if she did, it will be well worth
reading.

Post by chiam margalit
I've never heard a case of a kid whose family was truly committed to
him/her having a Jewish education having trouble getting their
congregation to allow him/her to celebrate his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah
there. (Of course, having posted this, I'm sure to draw out all the
ugly stories...) I think that most congregations just recognize that
B'nai Mitzvah is the big carrot they can use to get kids into their
education programs (whether traditional Sunday/Wednesday type programs
or more innovative ones such as those you've described in this
thread).

Well, without going into detail, I HAVE known of a couple of families
who had very difficult experiences in getting their child to the bimah.
Some congregations don't need the 'big carrot', they have enough members
and enough money to be very snooty about who they allow to have a
simcha, and they're very controlling over how it actually happens. One
shul I'm familiar with only allows special needs kids to have simchas on
Monday or Thursday. Like so many people are going to attend on a
Thursday!

Marjorie

Post by chiam margalit
Interesting thread.
--Robyn

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

Post by chiam margalit
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
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competent

Post by chiam margalit
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[Fred Rosenblatt]

Post by chiam margalit

Post by Robyn Kozierok
For kids with LD's, again, the congregations I know of
will make special adjustments to their B'nai Mitzvah
rules for kids with special needs.

Yes, the bend the rules for the b'nai mitzvah, but they
don't provide training for kids with LDs. They don't make
ANY special adjustments whatsoever. In fact, just today I
was discussing this topic with our Rabbi and he was clear
in this thoughts: "Judaism does not tolerate kids with
differences on either end of the spectrum.

I would disagree with that. "Does not tolerate" borders on
the irresponsible. It may have been true at one
time, and days schools' hands are still tied by the fact
that the enormous resources needed to provide services to
kids with LDs have already been co-opted by the public
system, but at least in my experience tremendous strides
have been made in accommodating special needs. Our day school has
enrolled a number of children with disabilities;
one child with CP recently graduated to the local yeshiva
high school. Of course the parents and child have to
cooperate as well: having an LD should not be an excuse,
in either private or public school, for any and all
behavior.

Post by chiam margalit
Not in day school, not in after school programs, not in
camps. They want middle of the road kids only." Debra
Nussbaum Cohen was going to write on I this topic. don't
know if she ever did, but if she did, it will be well
worth reading.

Rabbi Moshe Tendler has written on the halachic obligation
to provide opportunities for education and spiritual growth
to all children. There are any number of organizations
which seek to do just that. Of the many to which I'm asked
to donate, the one that comes to mind at the moment is Etta
Israel here in Los Angeles.

Post by chiam margalit

Post by Robyn Kozierok
I've never heard a case of a kid whose family was truly
committed to him/her having a Jewish education having
trouble getting their congregation to allow him/her to
celebrate his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah there. (Of course,
having posted this, I'm sure to draw out all the ugly
stories...) I think that most congregations just
recognize that B'nai Mitzvah is the big carrot they can
use to get kids into their education programs (whether
traditional Sunday/Wednesday type programs or more
innovative ones such as those you've described in this
thread).

Well, without going into detail, I HAVE known of a couple
of families who had very difficult experiences in getting
their child to the bimah. Some congregations don't need
the 'big carrot', they have enough members and enough
money to be very snooty about who they allow to have a
simcha, and they're very controlling over how it actually
happens.

Many times I've come to shul on Friday night to learn of a
Bar Mitzvah the next morning. We don't have afternoon
religious schools, parents are responsible for providing
for Bar Mitzvah training privately, so perhaps our rabbi
was tutoring, or perhaps the child simply needed a place to
be. We are a kiruv shul, so we believe in fostering any
kind of connection that may be nurtured in later life, so
it is not unusual for the family to be totally unfamiliar
with Judaism and the synagogue. But the rabbi always
manages to find something nice to say. I've seen the same
thing at the "big shul" down the road; they don't need to
pull in simchas for the money, but occasionally one of the
local rabbis (not employed by a shul) will schedule a bar
mitzvah for one of his students (also unaffiliated).

Post by chiam margalit
One shul I'm familiar with only allows special needs kids
to have simchas on Monday or Thursday. Like so many
people are going to attend on a Thursday!

I don't know about "allow", but frequently the requirements
for a Monday or Thursday (or Rosh Chodesh) Torah reading
are simpler and less stressful for a child who already has

a lot to cope with. One child with hearing impairment had
a lovely Bar Mitsvah on the Thursday of Thanksgiving. The
child with CP I mentioned above, a member of my shul, read
the Haftarah on Shabbos, in perhaps the most moving (and
well-attended) Bar Mitzvah in shul history. But then
everybody had always loved him anyway.

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[Robyn Kozierok]

Well, you do have to remember that you're in the Bay Area, where
that's a lot more true than say, New Jersey or Cleveland. The rise in
the number of children attending day schools, even within the bay area
(look at how many new ones there are... Atid, Kehillah HS, etc.)
proves that parents don't necessarily shrug off Judaism. They're just
the more committed families. I think most families that don't do day
schools don't really know HOW to be as committed because they're not
living Judaism every moment. I really don't believe that for a lot of
people it comes down to 'cool', although I will agree that there are
plenty that are of that ilk.

IME with my own peers, it seems there are 2 categories of day school
families -- the truly committed ones (some of whom have to sacrifice
greatly to afford day school), but also a good chunk of wealthy
families who figure sending the kids to day school will be easier than
teaching by example at home, and avoid the Sunday/Wednesday hassle as
well. I know people who were sent to day school even though their
parents didn't practice at home, or didn't practice to a level
consistent with the education they chose. (Some of these folks
practice more than their parents did, some less, so I guess at least
some of the time it works.)

I don't know enough day school kids now to know if it's still the same
way or not, but I'd be shocked if there weren't still families who
considered day school the easy way out.

--Robyn

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[Naomi Rivkis]

Post by Robyn Kozierok
I don't know enough day school kids now to know if it's still the same
way or not, but I'd be shocked if there weren't still families who
considered day school the easy way out.

I think this is an awfully harsh way to look at people who may want
their children to grow up knowing more of Judaism than the parents
themselves are able to teach them. Yes, it's ideal if the parents
learn and practice at the same time the kids do -- but the kids *have*
all day every day to do nothing but learn, and grownups don't. I don't
think it's necessarily a cop-out to send a kid to synagogue day school
because you hope that they will learn how to do a better job than you
yourself can presently do. I hope that the parents also hope
eventually to be able to do better themselves -- but are not willing
to deny their children the chance to learn in the meantime.

Naomi

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[Fred Rosenblatt]

Post by Naomi Rivkis

Post by Robyn Kozierok
I don't know enough day school kids now to know if it's still the same
way or not, but I'd be shocked if there weren't still families who
considered day school the easy way out.

I think this is an awfully harsh way to look at people who may want
their children to grow up knowing more of Judaism than the parents
themselves are able to teach them. Yes, it's ideal if the parents
learn and practice at the same time the kids do -- but the kids *have*
all day every day to do nothing but learn, and grownups don't. I don't
think it's necessarily a cop-out to send a kid to synagogue day school
because you hope that they will learn how to do a better job than you
yourself can presently do. I hope that the parents also hope
eventually to be able to do better themselves -- but are not willing
to deny their children the chance to learn in the meantime.

My original decision to send any future children to day school was
born
out of my own experiences with public school - December dilemma,
teasing,
fighting to be allowed to fit afternoon religious school in to their
schedule, etc. But the only way for that to work is to adopt the
attitude you suggest. Its best it the parents allow, or intend, for
their children's days school experience to bring them along.
Unfortunately
their are many who not only do not join the program but work against
it,
by passively ignoring and thus denigrating the schools principles
(spelling
intentional) in their children's eyes in their own homes, or by
actively protesting and watering down school policies they think are
"too religious".
Day schools today will enroll almost any Jewish child who applies.
This is
partly for financial reasons but more, to be fair, because they are
aware of
the statistics about day school education reducing assimilation and
intermarriage, and because they do not want to pass up the chance for
kiruv (outreach). But again, for kiruv to succeed parental
participation
is necessary. A number of first generation immigrant families are not
ready for full assimilation, and use day school as a way to maintain a
degree of insularity, but they are not interested in, or sufficiently
exposed
to the Judaism they weren't taught in their countries of origin. That
leads to a certain amount of disconnect and disruption for the other
children
at school.

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[kgold]

I just noticed this newsgroup and wonder if you can help me with a
question I have about running and afternoon/weekend religious school.
Our congregation is working on solidfying our relgious school's rules
and guidelines. By way of background, we have about 50 students
pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah (plus separate programs for older youth) and are a
liberal congregation. We offer religious education on Sundays for K-6
and Hebrew school on Wednesdays for grades 3-6. For grades 3-6,
children are expected to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays.
We have some problems in the following areas, and are wondering what,
if anything, other congregations do about these issues, especially if
1. Some families wish to send their children, particularly 3rd and
4th graders, for only one day (usually Sunday).
2. Some families don't take attendance seriously, and their kids only
show up if they don't get any better offers; some schedule other
activities to overlap with religious school and only send their kids
when those activities are not in session.
3. behavior issues in the classroom

Here's a just slightly sarcastic idea - how about two classes. The
first would be for children whose parents give education a priority,
and the second for parents where it's down below the "better offers."

Seriously, the first group would be a great class with few behavior
issues. The second might be off the wall, but the children would get
what the parents expect from the class, and you'd still reap the income.

Don't worry about extra classes. We routinely combine two public
school grades into one class, starting a class every other year, and
it works fine.

We'd wind up with mixed ages anyway. Sometimes faster learners start
earlier, older children with no background start later, younger
siblings want to be in the same class as an older one, day school kids
move faster, etc.

If you have policies to address any of these issues, we would be
interested in learning what they are, how they are enforced, and how
they work for you.

Here's our policy, and it's worked for many years - we require one
parent to attend class with the child. They're not observers either,
adults and children get homework, take tests, and study together.

Simple and effective.

We don't have problems with families who don't take Jewish education
seriously, as they wouldn't join our congregation in the first place.
There are few behavior issues, as there are more adults than children
in the class. Older adults universally say that they appreciated the
opportunity to learn with their children.

Has any other congregation tried this?
--
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Ken Goldman ***@watson.ibm.com 914-784-7646

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[Hillary Israeli]

In <***@posting.google.com>,
JewishMom <***@yahoo.com> wrote:
*
*1. Some families wish to send their children, particularly 3rd and
*4th graders, for only one day (usually Sunday).

If there is enough interest, perhaps your congregation would consider
making a "Sunday only" program an official option. Maybe it would meet for
a longer session or something.

*2. Some families don't take attendance seriously, and their kids only

Well, how do the religious school teachers handle this? I would imagine
they'd fail the kids for not attending, right?

*3. behavior issues in the classroom

Seems to me this would be handled just like any other classroom. You
behave appropriately, or you get sent to the principal's office! Right??

*We have a policy that 3rd through 6th graders must enroll for both
*days (or make suitable alternate arrangements), but if a child just
*doesn't show up for one of the days, what do you do?

I am remembering back to the days of Tuesday and Thursday afternoon Hebrew
school, which would sometimes create a conflict with my rehearsal schedule
for secular school theater productions. I simply had to get either the
production director or the Hebrew school teacher to agree to give me an
excused absence. If that didn't work, I'd be in trouble with someone.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net ***@hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

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[Aimee Yermish]

Are these O congregations, or liberal congregations?

The one shul I am familiar with that requires several years of Hebrew
school attendance by all children in the family before a bar/bat mitzvah
is Kol Emeth in Palo Alto CA, an egalitarian Conservative shul, but I
believe that rules like this are not all that uncommon in the
Conservative world.

I have a hard time imagining the rabbis taking it out
on the kid who wants to participate in becoming bar
mitzvah just because his parents are not with the
program as far as the siblings go! And then with a
more liberal congregation, well - in some families,
each child in the family is a different religion (I
can think of at least two families of my acquaintance
in which this is the case!), so it wouldn't make any
sense to have that requirement.

Well, the point is that the shul is saying that they care very much that
the whole family actually be committed to Judaism. There is no sense of
"taking it out on the kid" -- my experience as a classroom teacher has
led me to believe that apples really don't fall all that far from trees
most of the time, so it's extremely rare to find a kid who wants to go
to Hebrew school but whose parents don't give a hoot. They do occur
(see below).

And of course, in really extenuating circumstances, rules can be bent.
My point was that the rules shouldn't just fall by the wayside every
time someone says that following them is too inconvenient for their
family. I know of one family at Kol Emeth where an exception was made
(allowing the younger sib to not attend Hebrew school, and waiving the
several-year requirement for the older kid in favor of intensive remdial
tutoring in addition to regular attendance), but that was a truly
unusual situation where a suddenly very devoted young man was gradually
and gently pulling his whole (interfaith but mostly completely
nonreligious) family towards greater observance as he prepared for his
bar mitzvah (he is now in 10th grade at a Hebrew day school, at *his*
insistence).

--Aimee
***@alum.mit.edu

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[Howian]

One problem I have with the rules is the way they are
expressed. Sometimes, there is a sense from religious
schools, that "we got you,"if you want your child to get
Bar Mitzvahed, and we know you do, you must do a, b, and
c. Rather, than putting down ultimatums, I think it's
far better to try to address issues and problems. When
the rabbi spoke with my son about the importance of
various things, (the rabbi told him he doesn't like to
get up early on weekends either) that was tremendously
helpful. As a religious school, I think you do have to
explain and justify rather than simply saying this is
the way it is. .

Subject: RE: Religious School guidelines
Date: 9/13/2003 5:16 PM Eastern Standard Time

Are these O congregations, or liberal congregations?

The one shul I am familiar with that requires several
years of Hebrew school attendance by all children in the
family before a bar/bat mitzvah is Kol Emeth in Palo Alto
CA, an egalitarian Conservative shul, but I believe that
rules like this are not all that uncommon in the
Conservative world.

I have a hard time imagining the rabbis taking it out
on the kid who wants to participate in becoming bar
mitzvah just because his parents are not with the
program as far as the siblings go! And then with a
more liberal congregation, well - in some families,
each child in the family is a different religion (I
can think of at least two families of my acquaintance
in which this is the case!), so it wouldn't make any
sense to have that requirement.

Well, the point is that the shul is saying that they care
very much that the whole family actually be committed to
Judaism. There is no sense of "taking it out on the
kid" -- my experience as a classroom teacher has led me to
believe that apples really don't fall all that far from
trees most of the time, so it's extremely rare to find a
kid who wants to go to Hebrew school but whose parents
don't give a hoot. They do occur (see below).
And of course, in really extenuating circumstances, rules
can be bent. My point was that the rules shouldn't just
fall by the wayside every time someone says that following
them is too inconvenient for their family. I know of one
family at Kol Emeth where an exception was made (allowing
the younger sib to not attend Hebrew school, and waiving
the several-year requirement for the older kid in favor of
intensive remdial tutoring in addition to regular
attendance), but that was a truly unusual situation where a
suddenly very devoted young man was gradually and gently
pulling his whole (interfaith but mostly completely
nonreligious) family towards greater observance as he prepared
for his bar mitzvah (he is now in 10th grade at a Hebrew day
school, at *his* insistence).
--Aimee

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[Aimee Yermish]

Believe her! She knows whereof she speaks. Aimee is a former teacher
of gifted children and she's very very cognizant of the issues facing
very gifted kids with regards to religious as well as secular
educations.

Why, thank you so much for your kind words! Just wanted to set the
record straight. Although I am a former classroom teacher, I am still a
teacher of gifted children. Since the birth of my daughter, I have been
in private practice as a tutor and educational therapist, specializing
in work with gifted, learning-disabled, and twice-exceptional children.
I have also recently relocated to Stow, MA.

In our current shul, kids are required to be in shul WITH THEIR
PARENTS, at least twice a month. Parents and b'nai mitzvah kids
(starting 2 years before the simcha) MUST attend a monthly havurah
meeting with the Rabbis. Kids MUST come every other week for 2 hours
to meet with a Rabbi. And all kids are required to have a Hebrew tutor
for 2.5 hours/week. We do not have, nor do we want religious schools,
because as a congregation we have realized that they are a waste of
time, monty, and effort. This way works much better and ends up
educating the children better because it is mostly 1:1 time for a
couple of years.

I love these ideas! One of the nice features is that it brings the
parents in, and another is that because so much of the work is
one-on-one, the level (and perhaps to some degree also the content, or
at least the balance of the various content areas) of instruction can be
individualized for each child.

What movement within Judaism (if any) is your shul? I'm just curious,
because another poster suggested that the movements may differ in their
attitudes.

What does your shul do when someone fails to make the required
attendance? Are they really willing to say, "I'm sorry, but you can't
have your bar/bat mitzvah celebration here?" I'd suspect that would be
quite rare, since few parents will commit to such a regimen if they're
not really interested in the first place, but still...

I can easily imagine that parents may band together in tiny groups (say,
2-5 kids) to collaborate on buying the time of a Hebrew tutor -- in
effect, setting up mini-Hebrew schools for kids of like ability and
interest levels. (One-on-one time with an expert is often quite
expensive -- I certainly encourage my clients to share time when
appropriate). Do they have a set curriculum or series of suggested
books they want the tutors to use, are there some sort of benchmarks or
proficiency standards that the kids need to meet, or is it completely
whatever the tutor and the kid and the parents want?

In addition, every family in the shul is put into a kvutzot.

Sorry to be a nerd, but, well, I'm a grammar weenie. One kvutzah,
multiple kvutzot.

These groups are organized based on specific interests. New groups

have

formed around spiritual, intellectual and cultural pursuits, such as
chanting and meditation, Talmud study, and attending Jewish cultural
events around town. In addition, there are groups comprised of
families with children, with a separate group of bnei mitzvah

families.

Can people be in multiple kvutzot at once? How do they sort of filter
in and out as their interests change? (I can easily imagine a young
couple into cultural events changing into a family that wants
programming for toddlers and hasn't seen a movie in two years).

--Aimee
***@alum.mit.edu

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[chiam margalit]

Post by Aimee Yermish

Believe her! She knows whereof she speaks. Aimee is a former teacher
of gifted children and she's very very cognizant of the issues facing
very gifted kids with regards to religious as well as secular
educations.

Why, thank you so much for your kind words! Just wanted to set the
record straight. Although I am a former classroom teacher, I am still a
teacher of gifted children. Since the birth of my daughter, I have been
in private practice as a tutor and educational therapist, specializing
in work with gifted, learning-disabled, and twice-exceptional children.
I have also recently relocated to Stow, MA.

In our current shul, kids are required to be in shul WITH THEIR
PARENTS, at least twice a month. Parents and b'nai mitzvah kids
(starting 2 years before the simcha) MUST attend a monthly havurah
meeting with the Rabbis. Kids MUST come every other week for 2 hours
to meet with a Rabbi. And all kids are required to have a Hebrew tutor
for 2.5 hours/week. We do not have, nor do we want religious schools,
because as a congregation we have realized that they are a waste of
time, monty, and effort. This way works much better and ends up
educating the children better because it is mostly 1:1 time for a
couple of years.

I love these ideas! One of the nice features is that it brings the
parents in, and another is that because so much of the work is
one-on-one, the level (and perhaps to some degree also the content, or
at least the balance of the various content areas) of instruction can be
individualized for each child.

Exactly. And as the parent of one profoundly gifted kid and one kid
with profound learning differences, that's exactly what attracted me
to it in the first place. Plus, it's fun!

Post by Aimee Yermish
What movement within Judaism (if any) is your shul? I'm just curious,
because another poster suggested that the movements may differ in their
attitudes.

We're INDEPENDANT! :-) :-) One of our two Rabbi's is what might be
called Jewish Renewal (which I abhore in general, but she's cool) and
the other Rabbi has a Doctorate in Eastern European Jewish
intellectual history at Brandeis University in 1984, and was ordained
as a post-denominational Rabbi in the fall of 1996 by Rabbis Zalman
Schachter-Shalomi, Arthur Green and Everett Gendler but has a very
traditional background and is very learned in halacha. Although
they're 'renewal' Rabbi's by smicha, they run a pretty traditional
shul with some very interesting twists and turns. Read your email...
:-)

Post by Aimee Yermish
What does your shul do when someone fails to make the required
attendance? Are they really willing to say, "I'm sorry, but you can't
have your bar/bat mitzvah celebration here?" I'd suspect that would be
quite rare, since few parents will commit to such a regimen if they're
not really interested in the first place, but still...

It's never happened, and knowing the Rabbi's, it wouldn't. The first
Bnai mitzvah meeting was last week and a bunch of people didn't show
because there was a communication error on the part of the exec
director, and a letter went out to all the families that was, well,
stern and fairly guilt laden. :-) See, traditional Judaism at it's
best. :-)

Post by Aimee Yermish
I can easily imagine that parents may band together in tiny groups (say,
2-5 kids) to collaborate on buying the time of a Hebrew tutor -- in
effect, setting up mini-Hebrew schools for kids of like ability and
interest levels. (One-on-one time with an expert is often quite
expensive -- I certainly encourage my clients to share time when
appropriate). Do they have a set curriculum or series of suggested
books they want the tutors to use, are there some sort of benchmarks or
proficiency standards that the kids need to meet, or is it completely
whatever the tutor and the kid and the parents want?

The goal of the shul is to have each child able to lead an entire
Shabbat and daily minyan. They start with kabbalat shabbat, then
psukai zimrot, and work their way thru Schacarit to Musaf, then
Maariv. They work to learn their haftorah, but our shul believes that
is secondary to learning the services that they'll participate in.

I do think families do share time. I don't know what books they use
yet, as we're still doing hebrew with the birnbaum siddur. It appears
to be up to what the parents want, within the general framework of
your kid learning how to daven.

Post by Aimee Yermish

In addition, every family in the shul is put into a kvutzot.

Sorry to be a nerd, but, well, I'm a grammar weenie. One kvutzah,
multiple kvutzot.

These groups are organized based on specific interests. New groups

have

formed around spiritual, intellectual and cultural pursuits, such as
chanting and meditation, Talmud study, and attending Jewish cultural
events around town. In addition, there are groups comprised of
families with children, with a separate group of bnei mitzvah

families.
Can people be in multiple kvutzot at once? How do they sort of filter
in and out as their interests change? (I can easily imagine a young
couple into cultural events changing into a family that wants
programming for toddlers and hasn't seen a movie in two years).

Yes, people do change, but they put them together by area, by
interest, and by age of kids. The initial kvutzot from 5 years ago,
when this was instituted, have changed quite a bit. And as people
relocate and their life circumstances change, they change groups as
well. But the idea is to keep it like a mini-havurah, a group that
shares together often, and to do that, they have to want to be
together.

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[Aimee Yermish]

Our children start in "first grade" no matter how old they are. How
could it be otherwise? If an 11 year old child doesn't know
aleph-bet, how could they go directly to an advanced class?

Makes sense. What provisions do you have for allowing a bright and
motivated child to move through the grades at a more rapid rate than one
per year. It would be a pity to have an 11-yr-old who has just realized
that he is interested in Judaism to not have a way to accelerate his own
learning to catch up to his age-mates.

--Aimee
***@alum.mit.edu

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